Mysti S Milwee

Looking Back, but Moving Forward

When I look back

I feel vulnerable all

over again.

I feel the pain,

my organs inflicting

pain on each other –

                                       Fighting demons on the

                                       inside, “I listen to you screaming at me.”

Being locked up,

chained to the floor,

and him yelling at me.

                                       “If you’d just do everything I asked,

                                       I wouldn’t have to….

                                       Hurt you.

I was left broken and blue,

with anxiety and

PTSD too.

I was a child,

for God’s sake!

The night you crawled

up into my bed and said,

                                       “You will no longer be innocent,

                                       for it is mine to take before you wake.”

You drugged my mind

with an illusion of hell -

                                        I fought the demons in my

                                        mind, from your narcissism.

Looking back,

I would have been better off…

being homeless to Harvard.

Looking back to see how the

past shaped me –

                                         I finally mustered up the courage

                                         to move forward, to free myself

                                         from the chains that bound me.

                                         I thanked God, for helping me.